The Countess-grandmother-witch is without a doubt the funniest person on the show. The Headmistress of Gryffindor House is the grandmother of the family.

Still others, because she was under the spell of Professor McGonagall. Others, because she has red hair and therefore a fiery disposition. Why would Lady Edith do such a thing? Some say it’s because she is relatively unattractive. And before you could say “Possibly Anachronistic Expletive,” all of London had heard the rumor that Mary is fallen. This is a problem because those in the know tried to cover up the scandal, but it didn’t work because the middle daughter, Lady Edith, found out and told the Turkish embassy. Great message for all the guys out there. The Turk was attractive and very forward (typical), and it’s not like Mary to invite a man to her room, but he went in there late one night, and she said no at first, and at second, but at third she was like, OK, I guess. Well, she didn’t exactly kill him, and no, he didn’t die in some metaphorical way he suffered a heart attack while lying in bed with Mary. Here’s the problem: she killed a Turk (typical). Mary’s pretty sexy, and by that I mean, she wears long gloves from time to time. Why the flirtation? Because the Earl and his wife, Cora, have three daughters, and their eldest, Lady Mary, is looking for a husband. There’s a series of rooms known only as “the flirtation rejuvenation center.” There’s a massive, subterranean bunker kitchen. And when I say Downton is an estate, I mean it’s like a castle without the armaments.

Many years ago a family of women, dogs, scones, and one dad lived on a large estate called Downton Abbey, where people liked to engage in eating, walking, snooty harrumphing, and hardcore gallivanting. Cue faces that appear as ghosts in between tangible and transparent phases.) Downton Abbey Season 1 Cue impressive-looking book pages flapping. I’m Laura Linney, and this… is a Chas Gillespie summary of Downton Abbey. As Season 3 of Downton Abbey gets underway, let’s take a look back at what happened during the first two seasons.

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